Butterflies

Suddenly I get this feeling My mind draws a blank My hands are slightly shaking My heart begins to race I feel like I'm losing control I'm nervous inside and out I have an unexplainable feeling I wish I could figure this out These butterflies inside of me Keep fluttering all throughout I thought they were gone for good I didn't know they could come out It must be the way You get to me like you do The way you make me feel The way I love you like I do.. (copyright 2005 )

This Butterfly

You've caught a butterfly And have kept it in a jar Where it can barely be happy For it can't go very far But this butterfly wants To go and fly free To venture what's out there This butterfly wants to see But locked up in a jar How much can it do You've taken away its privileges But it has adventures it wants to go through It's life has been captured And this butterfly wants so To leave and fly through its life it just wants to go But in this container It has no escape you see And this butterfly wantsTo just go and fly free (copyright 2005 ) This is how i feel toward my mom i feel like i'm always locked up and always trying to be tamed. I just want to be me.

Dear God I Write

*Before thinking this is suicidal depression read the whole thing first it's an overcome of something in my life* God please read this I write this to you To tell you all the things That I had to go through I cut myself sadly In the middle of the night Thinking about all the things That I just couldnt do right Friends thought I was crazy cuz I lived a good life But its that they didnt know What I hid with a knife My feelings of sadness Worries and fears My feelings of darkness And each every tear I thought that tomorrow Might be the last that I live I had no more to offer Nothing left to give I had a good plan Or so that I thought I wanted to die Deaths what I sought I woke in the morning I love yous were heard Tears tried to fall My vision blurred Nobody knew i wanted it to be last day I went up to my room To sick to go to school Mother being blind Acting a fool I hid in my closet I took out the knife The one that would shortly Take away my life I thought, “I have to do something I can not sit here and wait For something to get better Its already too late” “Please dont say Im a coward” I whispered out loud I wanted mommy to know I tried makin her proud I backed out of the little room And shut the bathroom door I wanted to slit my wrists very deeply And fall to the floor I put the blade Up to my wrist Praying to have courage To give it a twist I breathed out real slowly And started to press down But I decided my own fate Threw the knife to the ground “This isn’t what I really wanted I just wanted to be heard To have someone to talk to Who wont think I’m absurd” I ran to my mother I told her my fears She started crying softly But wiped away my tears "Amanda my baby I know what went wrong You didnt talk to anyone But you still held on strong Im going to take you To get something you deserve The help that you wanted But didnt have the nerve” She soothed me softly Until I felt good Until I felt happy The way that I should So I thank you dear god For having her save my life And I am glad that I decidedTo throw down that knife (copyright 2005 )

Trust is a strong word, A meaning broken in two, This word is formed around one letter That letter is u. For you are the one I live for, The only one I love, And if you stay beside me, the u becomes an us. For us means no other love, Only me and you, And from this day forth, I promise,I'll will always be true. True to our relationship, In hopes it will never rust, For you are the one I love, The only one I trust. To my baby I love you so much I would never try to ruin what we've built you have been so good to me in everyway possible and i know it's hard being with a spoiled girl but you've made me that way love ya (copyright 2005)

Mom i want to go home, Mom can i get something new, Mom i don't know i just wanna be with u... Complaints complaints,I just don't understand , I want to stop,I just cant, Here i am complaining as these little kids die, They become bald,They just want to cry, I realize to stop, But it doesn't make it better, I just want them to be alright, But all they hear, Is the complaints of a spoiled child... (copyright 2005 )

THE POP ART PERSONALITY TEST YOU ARE ROMANTIC, dreamy and emotional. You refuse to view things only from a rational standpoint. Instead, you are guided by your feelings and moods. from:http://myjellybean.com

Relax Me

Lavender Pillow Mist This natural sedative will help you relax and drift off into a deep and restful sleep. Enjoy my favourite pillow recipe! This is from the book 'Spa' Glow Guide: Simple steps for health and well being by Andrea Mc Cloud. 1/2 cup waterwater 1/2 teaspoon witch hazel 4-5 drops lavender oil (© copyright 2005 )

Roof Top

Above on my roof top, my favorite place to be, twhere there's warm sun and the clouds see not so far from God. Where there's no stress. I could cry and not be asked why the tears. Above on my roof top, where i write away my future. Of love and life and how i can't wait till i'm 16. How my heart will be broken and shattered and mended all over again. Above on my roof top. (©copyright 2005 )

My waterproof mascara

You've been with me in classroom talks,*detentions some occasions*through boyfriends,dances,foodfights and almost graduations. Big projects,tests and finals we've been there for each other through love and life and tears and death and lectures from my mother. From band-aid hearts to make-up was such a quick transition. Now both our lives are moving in the full healthy position. Through road trips,walks,talks,our stupid boy crazed era, you've been there with hugs to dry my tears and waterproof mascara.©®

Best Part Of Believe

The best part of "Believe" is the lie All we care about is the gossip You never hear anyone spreading the truth What is our obcession with lies We all what to hear the horrifying stories of someone else It never hurts till it happens to you You dont realize what you are doing to people They are doing the same to you Nothing anyone says anymore is true No one listens to the truth The best part of "Believe" is the lie.... ©

Over You

It's amazing how the fact that time can make me glad that your not mine when before i thought our love was real time made me change the way i feel I guess your just another guy who made my heart believe a lie just another that made me feel used when i find out my love they abused even though your gone, the pains still there it hurts knowing you no longer care with you my hopes kept raising higher and my dreams became lost in desire all the times you looked into my eyes i wish i hadn't believed your lies because that only made me hurt more when to your heart, you shut the door but that was then, and this is now times changed so much i don't see how and after all you've put me through I'm glad I can say I'm over you.© ®

My Teddy

Baby I love you so muchI don't want this feeling to go awayYou make me feel I'm on a cloudFloating threw the airIt's so calm and peacefulAnd it's better when you say "I love you"And I love thatI love the way you love meAnd I know you will make sure I'm safeAnd not let anything harm meI'm like glass youTo me,Your like my teddy bear I tell you everything And i don't want to let that go Because your my lifeAnd I would die if you weren't hereI love you so much!Promise me you will never leave meAnd i will do the same©®

Careless Poem

Words fall carelessly from my mind to the page without regard for soundness unaware of their impactor perhaps knowingand not caring do you believe me now that you have seen just how deeply i have gone forgive me as i fade for memories and faith and deeper into you copyright 2005 © ®