thoughts of a Wall Flower

I can simply say i am afraid of being forgotten.

Where no one give a care in the world when they said they did. All i want is to be remembered for all the things i've helped build, bond, and break. For all the things i've influenced, inspired, and enlightened. I am afraid of someone taking my place when i never got the chance to finish what i've done.

You see my heart has been broken, burned to pieces not even recycled where it can be used later... if u catch my drift.

You give and give and pray that somewhere inside yourself u can tell them"i want to give you more i'm just afraid you will break my heart." Doesn't sound easy, in fact it's almost offensive, in the sense, you're telling the person they are not worth it. Thats never the case is it. instead you hold back because like you expected he.... well they, have broken your heart. It hurts more because you love them, you adore them, you'd do anything in your power to help them remember all the good things you can do, all the good times, the times when things were GOOD.This is the story of a girl who was oppressed. I am oppressed by a sense of failure, as the google definition states. I've always felt it was my duty to love someone, and to make them love me back. When in reality, love just happens. It happened for me, but i let it go and now i'm stuck trying to make someone love me "properly". i've realized if u can't love me unconditionally than u shouldn't have any business loveing me at all. If you can give up so easily, you have no business in loving me at all. But you did, and i believed every word you told me, even the lies, even if i knew it was a lie. Why? Because i wanted so badly to just me loved and adored and cherished like every girl would want to feel. I was so obsessed with that feeling to the point where i didn't know what was real and what was a lie. So i'm here stuck in a rut, giving every fuck, when you probably go about your business not giving a care in the world. Not wondering if i shed a tear. It was a lie when you said you'd always be there.... it was a lie when you said you'll never give up. You left me that night cold, lonely, and shoulderless. No one to talk to... no one who can really understand how i've ruined myself.

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