Dear God I Write

*Before thinking this is suicidal depression read the whole thing first it's an overcome of something in my life* God please read this I write this to you To tell you all the things That I had to go through I cut myself sadly In the middle of the night Thinking about all the things That I just couldnt do right Friends thought I was crazy cuz I lived a good life But its that they didnt know What I hid with a knife My feelings of sadness Worries and fears My feelings of darkness And each every tear I thought that tomorrow Might be the last that I live I had no more to offer Nothing left to give I had a good plan Or so that I thought I wanted to die Deaths what I sought I woke in the morning I love yous were heard Tears tried to fall My vision blurred Nobody knew i wanted it to be last day I went up to my room To sick to go to school Mother being blind Acting a fool I hid in my closet I took out the knife The one that would shortly Take away my life I thought, “I have to do something I can not sit here and wait For something to get better Its already too late” “Please dont say Im a coward” I whispered out loud I wanted mommy to know I tried makin her proud I backed out of the little room And shut the bathroom door I wanted to slit my wrists very deeply And fall to the floor I put the blade Up to my wrist Praying to have courage To give it a twist I breathed out real slowly And started to press down But I decided my own fate Threw the knife to the ground “This isn’t what I really wanted I just wanted to be heard To have someone to talk to Who wont think I’m absurd” I ran to my mother I told her my fears She started crying softly But wiped away my tears "Amanda my baby I know what went wrong You didnt talk to anyone But you still held on strong Im going to take you To get something you deserve The help that you wanted But didnt have the nerve” She soothed me softly Until I felt good Until I felt happy The way that I should So I thank you dear god For having her save my life And I am glad that I decidedTo throw down that knife (copyright 2005 )