De-cipher

So someone

tell me what is wrong with a little Mary Jane.

How can you go wrong with something pure and so great.

How my knees can always melt and my mind is at ease.

Someone tell me what the fuck is so wrong with burning some leaves.

If you ask in sincerity why i do what do.

I just light the fatest blunt and make my dreams come true.

As you toast to celebration, inject the deification, snort the insulation, and destroy the gestation

I'll sit back, relax and enjoy my fixation

there's no need to rush this destination,

my words just come like masturbation

Relax.

Ain't no pain,no menstruation,

it's easy meditation,

Meet the doctor of education.

My thoughts sick, molestation.

Disrespectful? No implication

Relax.

It's a natural elevation

Hold on

grab tight

deep penetration

to your thoughts on rotation

Pass that?

Release your silenced communication.

I ain't no good at this mathematical operation

i put two and two together according to my calculation

one world abomination.

I'm out of this world no hands no gravitation

Your narrow minded

brain on limitation.

Ain't no comparison to this feeling, no compensation.

Relax.

Before I come to this summation

i must say they didn't pay me

this is straight from my imagination.

You got bodies?

Haiti got burial sites.

Hate seems to last forever

but in a second there goes a life.

While you walk by looking for compliments

you need to seek knowledge and confidence.

All the hook, lines, and blindness we live in

I try to think different because i know the sky's the limit.

Pass?

This is the real deal

so don't get upset towards the way i feel.

And i won't apologize for saying what's real.

It's just my soul doing the talking

when I'm sober I'm nervous

I'm not a coward i serve my purpose.

Don't ask me what worth is,

I'll let the herbs

bring it to surface.

I'm not known to break the rules

But i will question the man behind the law.

I got freedom a speech?

Can you tell me why I'm paying these taxes

for a war i did not start.

This is to the generation that seems to be born without a choice

you can take away my clothes but i still have my voice.

Petite,and yes I write with conceit

I'm a woman of my thoughts

When these girls trying to be women of the streets .

So as I save this last clip

give this blunt one last kiss

and tell you this
don't underestimate

do not duplicate

contemplate.

(© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

For You.

I may not be the perfect girl That every guy would wish. I may not be that pretty But let me tell you this: I can love you truly With all of my heart I can be faithful Even though we are apart. I cannot climb the mountains Nor swim the deepest sea But I can make a promise Just put your trust in me. I cannot give you all you want
But try to give my all
My love, my heart, my very soul
For you i'll give it all.
I cannot reach the stars above
Nor offer you the moon
But if I will have the power
I'll promise to do it soon.
For you I'll give my very best
My love forever true
I may not be important
But for me my world is YOU.

(© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

stripped

Stripped of all he sees

except for the things he loves about me

wanting him to see what is behind all the beauty and mirrors

leaving the errors known as my imperfections

because of the love I have for him and him loving me making it all worth my while Stripped of all the lies, alibi's, and tears cried

to reveal the inside-leaving behind all expectations

having just my determination to do things not yet mentioned with good intensions, not to forget my ambition

to show him much affection and relaxation because of all this attention Stripped to show him I care inviting him into my world, in my imagination to show my appreciation

for the love he give without fear of love being lost,

or glasses being tossed because of a fight I caused Stripped so he would see my skinny legs, big butt, and heck of personality of which he loves because they are what made me see-helping me find him and a love that was true

so I am no longer sad and blue. Stripped Of all make-up and material things too

No need for fancy clothes, jewelry, and shoes

No cover-ups, or push-ups

with him I do not even have to put on a show to get my self noticed, all I have too do is be me a wonderful girl you see

He loves every scar, every curve, every inch of my skinFulfilling all of me.

(© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

Carry-on

If life is a journey I've visited many places. My belongings, thoughts, regrets all exposed. For eyes to examine, critique, and handle. People telling me whats acceptable to continue on and whats not. People searching trying to find something that isn't there. I've already plotted, planned, and blueprinted. it's a matter of being accepted on this flight we call society and i prefer to sky dive. I've packed my heart, my dignity, and my intellect. All i'm missing is my self respect. I plan to find it when i take my plunge. I've learned not to take extra baggage on my journey its only bound to fuck up everything else. Sooner or later i'd wanna give it all up since it's weighing me down so much. I've been in fuckville for too long it's time to relocate. I'll send you a post card. (© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

thoughts of a Wall Flower

I can simply say i am afraid of being forgotten.

Where no one give a care in the world when they said they did. All i want is to be remembered for all the things i've helped build, bond, and break. For all the things i've influenced, inspired, and enlightened. I am afraid of someone taking my place when i never got the chance to finish what i've done.

You see my heart has been broken, burned to pieces not even recycled where it can be used later... if u catch my drift.

You give and give and pray that somewhere inside yourself u can tell them"i want to give you more i'm just afraid you will break my heart." Doesn't sound easy, in fact it's almost offensive, in the sense, you're telling the person they are not worth it. Thats never the case is it. instead you hold back because like you expected he.... well they, have broken your heart. It hurts more because you love them, you adore them, you'd do anything in your power to help them remember all the good things you can do, all the good times, the times when things were GOOD.This is the story of a girl who was oppressed. I am oppressed by a sense of failure, as the google definition states. I've always felt it was my duty to love someone, and to make them love me back. When in reality, love just happens. It happened for me, but i let it go and now i'm stuck trying to make someone love me "properly". i've realized if u can't love me unconditionally than u shouldn't have any business loveing me at all. If you can give up so easily, you have no business in loving me at all. But you did, and i believed every word you told me, even the lies, even if i knew it was a lie. Why? Because i wanted so badly to just me loved and adored and cherished like every girl would want to feel. I was so obsessed with that feeling to the point where i didn't know what was real and what was a lie. So i'm here stuck in a rut, giving every fuck, when you probably go about your business not giving a care in the world. Not wondering if i shed a tear. It was a lie when you said you'd always be there.... it was a lie when you said you'll never give up. You left me that night cold, lonely, and shoulderless. No one to talk to... no one who can really understand how i've ruined myself.

(© copyright 2005) all rights reserved

Last Time

And when the band began to play
Disaster took you by the hand
His words unfurled from his lips like smoke:
“May I have this dance?”



You could smell the honesty on his breath
As he slurred his syllables into your ear
And guided you with his hazy vision
To a place far away from here



All that he lacked in warmth
Was compensated with pure charm
His gifts of turquoise fingerprint bracelets
You wore up and down your arms



Tell affection of abuse
Tell beauty of decay
Tell empathy of malice
Tell justice of delay



Tell purity of disgust
Tell fortune of her blindness
Tell art of destruction
Tell friendship of unkindness



Tell innocence of filth
Tell life of its demise
Tell freedom of addiction
Tell need of compromise



Tell honor of infamy
Tell flesh it is but dust
Tell charity of coldness
Tell love it is but lust



Tell harmony of chaos
Tell time that it falters
Tell compassion of cruelty
Tell reality that it alters



Tell reason of madness
Tell fortitude of disgrace
Tell truth of deception
Tell salvation of waste
(© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

Short Intention

Haven't really posted much these days. Seems like my life is void my creativity is shot. And my feeling haven't been worth the thought. So i've been thinking lately what the hell is the purpose of this life. My only conclusion is to live it to the fullest... really. I can't express how fucking necessary it is to do what the fuck you may please. [s'cuse the french.] I'd say i'm a non conformist. I don't really care if my pictures are over the top, or my native tongue isn't perfect. The simple fact that God (or some higher power), gives me the strength every morning for an opportunity has always been enough. The most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too. And if you're alone... fuck it you're alone. But don't ever for one second feel bad for yourself. At some point in your life that stupid decsion you made was yours and that is the only thing that should matter. (© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

All those pretty memories

Since.... No one has ever quite loved me the way i wanted to. I settle for less, when i deserve the best. I compromise when i deserved to be honored. No one has loved me the same. I smile because i have to, because it is my god given right to bear. No one ever knows, i don't want anyone to know. The pain, the sorrow, the embarrasment, and shame i have done for myself. No has quite loved me the same since. You see i've realized once you lower yourself everyone elses way of looking at you lowers as well. You become unworty, unfortunate, you disappear. No matter how much you try and convince someone you're happy the person that loves you the most sees right through you. All i wanted was to be first, to be loved my all... how stupid. No way in hell will you ever be loved by all, it's my obligation to love me first. If you are in my life don't leave me, to rot in my own stupidity.No one has loved me quite the same. I am weak, i am selfless, i am least likely to survive. But through out it all from here to the moon i promised to hold my composure. To pick myself up, and live. I just can't seem to do it now. I've lost a part of me... my joy. The best thing i provide for people is my joy but i can't seem to provide it for myself. Nothing is set in stone. see you later. forget me not. (© copyright 2005)all rights reserved

Tio....

Tonight is the first dance i've danced, since you've been gone Tio. Tonight is the first night i've laughed and cried since you've been gone. It didn't hurt me to laugh knowing that you're gone. I danced for you, but i saved our song because i couldn't give it to anyone else. Tio Eddie taught me some steps that you didn't teach me yet and i wish you were there to see me. I know it's kinda hard watching from above but if you could've just been there, you would've been proud. I was turning and hooping and twisting for you. All mami said was "There goes Tio Ralphy." I find it silly that i'm actually having a conversation by myself to you ; no one reads this thing anyway. I miss you. Mami, tio, and me.... we all danced and played for you tonight. No matter the circumstances you always knew how to have a good time. I don't think anyone really knows how i feel since you've passed, but i'm hurting very much. I cry because i want to speak to you, but i know if you were here you would be dissappointed in the choices i'm making. I'm gonna be better in time. (© copyright 2005)all rights reserved