Found the strength

Where did the time go? What ever happened to the sweet little girl that everyone adored? No one could say no to the innocence and perfection of this child. Everything was all good for her and it all seemed so simple. Nothing ever went wrong for her, probably because she never did anything wrong. Until she saw another side of it all. She knew it was wrong but it was new and almost to good to be true. She got hooked up with the wrong kind of people and her life started to spiral down hill. The innocence was lost and her thoughts were blured. It all disappeared and she couldn’t handle it. She no longer was the perfect little girl that every one adored. She started to see the darker side of things. Her life was over…so she thought. She had to end it. She tried so hard to get her innocence back but the shock of realizing that it would never return destroyed her. She turned to pills, cutting and whatever else that seemed to overcome the emotional and mental pain she caused herself. Sex, guys, lies, and hanging out took hold of her. She could no longer hold on, she hated the person she became. No one could help her, she had gone over the deep end. Crying herself to sleep was a daily routine. She lost sight of it all and didn’t seem to care. Nothing mattered anymore. She was at the end of her untangling rope. No one seemed to care anyway, it was all her fault. She was misunderstood. They knew that she was just like the rest. Nothing special about her. Now months later, the girls still lives. She has somewhat recovered from the pains of growing up. She didn’t realize the troubles of the world. She now knows that there is no way to gain nor maintain perfection. She is not that sweet little girl everyone once loved. Sometimes you can tell that she still tries to bring the girl back to life. With having dealt with regretfully losing her virginity at a young age to a *boy* who didn’t care about her at all, being betrayed by people who were closest to her, she still lives.1 year ago she didn’t expect to be alive today. She really didn’t think she’d make it this far. Though what followed her traumatic experience 6 years ago was much worse, she made it through because 1 year ago that girl decided that she would not let anyone or anything make her so sick that she’d dread waking up in the morning. Many do not see the daily battle that this girl has to fight and some don’t care but its ok because she doesn’t need nor does she want anyone’s pity. What matter most to this girl is the fact that one amazing day she was able to find the strength to go on and save another life…her own. (© copyright 2005 )